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Going Out
2.07.2006
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Will someone hand me a relationship dictionary? Eric is driving me crazy with his definition of going out.
I was under the impression that we were 'exclusively dating'. Technically we were. But now, as I realize, we are not dating, but just going out. That means we're not exactly a couple. Any romantic gesture would have to remain physical. It doesn't go any further than that.
I just realized this last friday, when Eric said "We better stop this before it leads to something else." After he said that, I bolted out of his apartment without even saying a word.
At first I could not understand why we are not a couple. But then it dawned on me. I am not Peewee. To Eric, I am nothing but a faint remembrance of his ex-boyfriend.
So if anyone asks, I'm not seeing anyone special. Not anymore.
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247
2.02.2006
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Half of me died yesterday. It's either that or Peewee accidentally packed half of me and flew to San Jose with it. I'll never be that same person again without Peewee.
It's so unfair. We were supposed to be just fifty steps away from each other. One simple text message and I'm already at their doorstep in less than thirty seconds. Peewee is my comfort zone. He doesn't have to say or do anything. His presence alone brings me out of any negative thoughts or moods I've been having. It's pure magic.
Peewee, I'm gonna miss you big time. I'll see ya again, I promise.
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